The Box You’ve Put Yourself In

….how do I know you’re boxed in right now?

Because we all are.

And it all depends on how you finish this statement….. I am

So, what are you?

What’s the first thing that comes into your head when you think of the statement, I am?

Let’s take an easy one, I am a writer.

What does a writer mean to you, what’s the baggage that comes with that statement?

  • Writers don’t make much money.
  • Writers have to spend years trying to get a publishing contract.
  • Writers only write a handful of books in a lifetime.
  • Great writers only come from the UK and US…

…I could go on and on.

Each of those comments is a rule I need to follow because I’m a writer. – And sometimes I’ll follow them even when the opposite has been proven correct. – But I’ll stubbornly stick to my guns because that’s not how I see a writer.

You can do the same with being a parent, a blogger, a mechanic, a hairdresser or whatever, we take on a list of rules that we need to follow for that identity.

The worst part, some of these labels dumb us down and switch off parts of our brain so we can’t access them.

Call yourself stupid, and an idiot, and you can say goodbye to those brain cells until you pick a better label for yourself.

So beware what you say about yourself, or the labels you’ve chosen for yourself.

They could what’s boxing you in right now and making you think and act the way you do.

Oh, and speaking of labels, you could be creating your own using this right here…

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Here’s Why You’ve Got Imposter Syndrome

…ever feel like you shouldn’t be allowed to do what you do, or that you’ll be caught out one day?

You, my friend, are suffering from Imposter Syndrome.

The first time I heard of it was on the back of an old David Niven biography.  – Why my dad was reading it in the truck, I’m still no wiser. Clint maybe, but not David Niven I dunno.

…. sorry I’m getting sidetracked.  

Anyway, David Niven said that he was always in fear of getting caught out as an actor. That one day someone in Hollywood would realize that he shouldn’t be on set and he’d be taken to the gate.

Of course, it never happened, he could act and do it well.

But the funny thing is…..back when I wrote kids’ fiction, and my books were doing really well, I had that same thought too.

This is too easy. 

People like me shouldn’t be allowed to just open up a laptop and just write. 

This is too easy to make money. – You can’t just write something once and have it repay you over and over again?

And to tell the truth, I also felt guilty.

I felt like I was cheating the system in some way, and if Amazon and my readers didn’t cop onto me, then life would in some way.

Little did I know why I felt that way, and why you may too.

It all comes down to a lack of deserving.

That’s right, all those feelings of being an imposter all boil down to you not feeling deserving of having success.

Everyone in the world doesn’t seem like an imposter to you, because they deserve more success than you will allow yourself to have.

Write a bestselling book – People like you don’t deserve that. It was a fluke, it won’t last long, it’s a flash in the pan.

People are all linking to your blog post and telling you you’re a great blogger. – Wait until they see how bad I am with next week’s post, then they’ll see it was a one-off.

Make a sale with one of your digital products. – They’ll be back before the 30 days are up and be looking for a refund.  It’s not right to make money so easy like this when other people have to work so hard for it.

And all because you feel unworthy and undeserving.

Problem is, the world is full of people who feel that way.

Mention feeling like an imposter in any group chat and you’ll be swarmed by people who all feel the same way as you do.

For some of us, it came from poor parenting.

Or a religion telling us that as soon as we took our first breath we were a sorry sinner and undeserving, and we needed to keep God on our good side or he’d pull the plug on us.

Or an educational system that took a curious child full of creativity, and turned them into a person who’s afraid of making mistakes because of public ridicule, and was constantly told that they were the dummy in the group.

It’s no wonder we all expect the other shoe to drop when the first signs of success come along.

We don’t deserve to have nice things happen to us.

We don’t deserve to have people tell us great we are.

We don’t deserve to have money come to us so easily.

And the first time any of those comes along, we’re looking for the exit door because we know we’ll be heading through it soon.

You’re not an imposter, because well, there is no one like you anywhere in this cosmos.

And like I said yesterday, the DNA, molecules, memories, and life experience that you have… has never or will ever… exist again anywhere.

You’re not an imposter of anyone.

The reason you feel that way is because you don’t feel deserving of having success… and having good things happen to you….that’s the reason.

You do deserve all the good things… just don’t feel so guilty when they happen.

Because that’s life just giving you the thumbs up, telling you that you’re making the right choices.

Think on that today.  : )

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