A Day Jimmy Will Never Forget

……ever have one of those stories that will follow you for the rest of your life?

I was reminiscing with Mrs Mc this week and the topic of funerals came up.

When I was small I always seemed to be going from one funeral to another.

“This grandparent died.”

“The man your father worked with died.”

This relation, that relation….on and on it went.

Looking back, I don’t know whether it was something in the water, or the Grim Reaper was working overtime.

Anyway of all the funerals I went to, there was always one I regret missing….Jimmy, probably wished he did too.

To paint a picture of Jimmy, our protagonist, he was a very overweight man, not old, and always looked like he’d just crossed the finishing line at a marathon….and a hard marathon at that.

Anyhoo, Jimmy was at a funeral in our parish.

The priest had done his blessing and everything was wrapping up.

At this point, you’ve got the normal shake the hand with the grieving family, mumble a few words of sympathy and move on.

Then it was Jimmy’s turn. And Jimmy being Jimmy, he didn’t want to go to the back of the queue, probably something he still regrets, and stretched out his hand.

Of course, when you have to stretch across an open grave ya gotta lean over.

Almost across the gap, Jimmy tipped forward and fell into the open grave.

Even worse, he put his foot straight through the coffin lid.

I don’t know how they got him out of the hole or what happened next, but I was told it was something you couldn’t make up.

I don’t know if Jimmy ever went to a funeral after that. But he was the talk of the parish for a long while.

Speaking of things that are the talk of the town and hard to forget. I’ve just released my keyword research over on WarriorPlus.

If you weren’t sure about it, needed a guarantee, or just wanted the colouring book research on its own, go here.


PS – There’s no nasty surprises, nothing to fall into, and it’ll help you to make a ‘good’ mark on the colouring book scene.