Here’s a little experiment I’d like you to try out. Take a moment, look around you, and tell me where fear is?
I’ll save you the bother. – You can look high, low, near, far, and you’ll never find it. Why? Because it doesn’t exist in the physical world. You could travel the world over and you won’t find fear.
So where does fear live? Where does this thing that’s keeping you back from what you do, hang out? – It lives in you.
It’s said that we only come into this world with two fears, one of falling and the other of loud noises. Everything else was stuff we picked up along the way. Some of which we’ll probably never come in contact with. – Ireland isn’t known for crocodiles, but having seen them on TV, I know what my fear level would be like on the possible chance of meeting one.
So how do you stop being fearful of everything that isn’t falling or loud noises? Here are a few things to keep in mind when fear grips you…
1 – Stop Looking At The Negative Aspect Of The Thing You Fear.
Right now, even though I’m not afraid of writing this article, I could turn up my fear dial by focusing on the negatives.
What if this article makes me look like a fool?
What if I get criticized about something I say or the way I say it?
What if no one reads this?
As you’d expect, if the only things I focused on were those, you wouldn’t be reading this piece. And even if I did finish it, it would take a lot more effort than an article where I just went with the flow and let the words spill out on the page.
Instead of focusing on all the things that could go wrong, what if everything went right?
You’ve got as good a chance as any that it just might. So why start off on a negative back foot?
Plus whoever does good work when they’re negative and filled with thoughts of failure. – If anything, that only guarantees that the thing you’re about to attempt isn’t going to work out.
2 – You’re Never Guaranteed Success.
A lot of people allow the fear of failure to hold them back, – What if it goes wrong? – Here’s a word of advice for you, success is never guaranteed.
Even if you followed the exact plan that someone else (successfully used) you can’t be guaranteed to get the same result. Sure, you’ve put the odds in your favour but anything could happen to scupper that success. The market could crash, you could get ill, a piece of software could refuse to work, your house could go on fire, etc.
The only time we find out if something is a success is on the other side of what we do. It’s only then that we can look back and see what worked and didn’t work. It’s only then that we can see what went wrong and change our path on the second attempt. Each time we do, we put more of those odds in our favour. – But again, even then anything else could go wrong.
3- Take People Out Of The Equation
Ever notice that you can sing your little heart out when you’re on your own, but as soon as someone walks in you lower your voice or stop? In that instance, you’ve taken yourself out of what you were doing and are now looking at what you’re doing through their eyes.
I wonder what they think of my singing?
I bet they’ll laugh at me, and tell me not to give up the day job.
God, what must they think of me?
All the above are thoughts that don’t involve you and are your interpretation of what you think of you and your singing.
If you took a moment to ask what they thought you might find their thoughts aren’t anything like yours. – But we don’t, and walk away believing anything negative that comes to mind.
Going back to me writing this piece, even though I am writing to a reader ( I hope) if I focused on all the things it could be like…
Is this any good?
What have I got to teach anyone?
Who do I think I am to write this piece?
You’re no expert.”
If I listened to any of the above, those words wouldn’t be here.
The trick is to take the end-user out of what you do when you create.
Sure, keep them in mind on the run-up to what you do, but leave them and their opinions out when you’re doing your work. Because what you might see as something that’s terrible to you could be a masterpiece to someone else.
Now, will those three points up there make you fearless for the rest of your life? In a word, no. But what they will do is quieten down that nagging doubt you may have about yourself and what you’re about to do. We all fear the unknown. We all fear making a fool out of ourselves. We all fear getting it wrong. But if you look back on your life you’re going to find more than one instance where you overcame those fears to learn a new skill and do something you’ve never done before.
If you lean into your fears, you’ll usually find that they’re gone when you get there. And to quote Batman, ‘Just because you’re scared doesn’t mean you can’t act at the same time.’
You can do this.