Stop Defending Your Story

…if you were to ask me why I’m writing this piece I could give you a string of answers to back up my actions.

Or any action that I feel strongly about.

The same goes for you.

If I was to ask you why you do what you do, you’d have your reasons ( your story) for doing it.

And if I was to keep pressing you on those reasons, I’m sure you’d push back just as hard or even harder to back them up. – Even if you know that they don’t hold any water.

Why? Because we don’t like to admit that maybe we’re wrong.

It’s OK to be wrong when it’s just you, but in front of others, that’s a no-no.

Go back a few years, and even though I hated my job stacking shelves, I could have backed up that decision if pushed into a corner.

I could tell you it was a safe job.

I could tell you the guys on the shift were great craic.

I could tell you that it allowed me to listen to podcasts and music all night, unlike other jobs I had.

I could tell you that it was a lot better than working on a building site in the winter.

I could tell you all that, but I was still miserable.

And even though you could argue any of those points with me, I’d dig in my heels and stick to my guns.

I was miserable, but it was my story.  – And I was sticking to it.

Again, you’re no different.

If anyone tried to take your story off you, you’d cling to it like your favourite teddy bear.

But the only way for things to change is for us to let go of our story.

You’ve got to admit that your actions aren’t helping you.

That the things in the past, are in the past. – That those actions can’t be undone, and the only reason your history still affects you is because you’re still carrying it with you.

Your story, as right and as concrete as it may be, only exists in you. – Nowhere else in the world will we find it.

We also kid ourselves into thinking that our story is the truest version of what life is and then wonder why people make more money, drive bigger cars, and have better lives than us.

The reason, those folks have a different story that they tell themselves. – Seeing life in a different way than we do. Again, believing that their version of life is the truest one.

In a nutshell, we’re all storytellers.

And the story we tell ourselves dictates what we think, say, and act.

The greatest thing we can do today is admit that maybe our story is wrong and not helping us.

Our problem, no one likes to admit that they might be wrong.

Maybe it’s time to have a look at that story you’ve been clinging tightly to.

And maybe it’s time to let it go for good.

As you can see, I don’t stack shelves anymore. If you’d like to know how I went from there to writing fiction, launching a podcast, and making and selling my own digital products, go to now.