You’ll wonder if you should hit that publish button.
You’ll wonder if you’re good enough, or just a ‘me too’ trying to latch onto a trend you see everyone else on, and hopefully pick up a few bread crumbs that have fallen from the table.
You’re always going to question your ability.
You’re always going to think that your book is amazing on days when you’re up, and you’re going to rip it to shreds on days when you’re down.
Unlike other real world jobs, like painting buildings for example, you never dwell on that apartment you did six months ago that you forgot to paint the corner of the ceiling.
But six months back, you’ll remember that stupid thing your heroine did on page sixty-five, paragraph three, that was totally out of character but that you had to shoehorn in to make the rest of the book make sense.
To you, it’s as obvious as that missing paint. To your reader, like that apartment owner, they’ve been enjoying the book so much that they’ve never looked up at it.
Does that make you a bad writer, someone who produces inferior work? Or does it just make you someone that’s got a quality control level that far exceeds anything that N.A.S.A has? Someone who will never be good enough, will never write well enough, and will never have the success they want.
There’s not many vocations that people work all their days in and never believe in themselves.
You’d never find a mechanic doubt his ability that he can’t take an engine apart, because of a small throwaway comment made by a customer.
You’ll never find a baker look at the bakery store up the street and always think that he’s better than him.
And you’d never find a truck driver fill his cab or read up on everything he can about driving and then never turn on the ignition.
But you’ll find tons of writers that will.
They’ll lose all confidence in what they wrote from one bad review. They’ve got more books and trainings on the art of writing, but they’re afraid to fire up their laptop.
And the worst part, for all the questioning, doubting, putting yourself down, there’s a part of you that won’t give up. A little voice that teases you with story lines, characters, and book titles, that’ll never stay silent.
You’ll try your best to put your fingers in your ears and drum it out, but it’s always there, looking for an outlet. The more you try to turn your back on it, the more it keeps coming back.
You know that menial job will never match what writing can do for you. It may be a safer choice to follow the herd into a nine-to-five, come home exhausted, and veg out watching mindless TV.
But for every TV show that preoccupies your brain, that little voice is going to tell you that you could write a better episode, create a better character than that, and find the plot holes that others gloss over.
Why? Because you’re a writer.
You mightn’t be the best one out there, but there’s something comforting in running your fingers over the keys and making a virtual Disney world that your readers can play in.
But being a writer, you’ll spend more time doing security checks and looking for things that can go wrong with the roller coaster, than just standing back and listening to the screams of joy as they whoosh past you.
Who’d want to be a writer?
Who’d want to write down their inner most thoughts, their fantasies, and things that would get them locked up in the real world?
But for those that do, and do it without the use of hard alcohol, will find joy in knowing that your words have inspired, motivated, and entertained someone you’ll probably never meet and who may never tell you how great you are.
But even if you never reach the dizzying heights of other writers, a little part of you will bathe in sunshine knowing that you’re following its advice.
Why should you be a writer? That’s why.